Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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