I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
