I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
