Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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