i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.