Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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