Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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