i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
