and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
