every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I love how my cats smell like pot.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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