Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
