it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
