after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
