fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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