I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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