Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
