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I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
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