I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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