Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches

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(714): View more from California

I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.

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(248): View more from Michigan

Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.

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(716): View more from New York

I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(816): View more from Missouri

All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother

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(203): View more from Connecticut

She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.

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(602): View more from Arizona

Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?

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