Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(619): View more from California

pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story

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(404): View more from Georgia

three words: i give head

(770): View more from Georgia

three words: not that well

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(925): View more from California

These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed

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Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Read it at the TFLN blog
(978): View more from Massachusetts

I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.

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(937): View more from Ohio

On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo

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(330): View more from Ohio

While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

meow

(703): View more from Virginia

use your words like a big girl

(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

i ran over your cat.

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