Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him