Texts From Last Night

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  (710): View more from

  So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )

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  (710): So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : ) http://tfl.nu/fktm
  Replies (17) Good night (2949) Bad night (563)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  I'm scared

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.

  (972): View more from Texas

  That's what I'm afraid of

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  (972): I'm scared (337): There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size. (972): That's what I'm afraid of http://tfl.nu/7af7
  Replies (16) Good night (802) Bad night (3860)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.

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  (618): Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman. http://tfl.nu/awok
  Replies (12) Good night (2584) Bad night (906)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?

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  (919): Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"? http://tfl.nu/qjxq
  Replies (7) Good night (4349) Bad night (1161)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.

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  (713): After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad. http://tfl.nu/y2nw
  Replies (4) Good night (2624) Bad night (1045)
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  (925): View more from California

  I hope this adventure ends at a hospital

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  (925): I hope this adventure ends at a hospital http://tfl.nu/tvb7
  Replies (2) Good night (2317) Bad night (1241)
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  (+64): View more from New Zealand

  You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.

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  (+64): You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited. http://tfl.nu/941d
  Replies (4) Good night (1608) Bad night (847)
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  (707): View more from California

  Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.

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  (707): Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires. http://tfl.nu/p299
  Replies (8) Good night (1461) Bad night (601)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?

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  (705): I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting? http://tfl.nu/m3h4
  Replies (3) Good night (936) Bad night (394)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.

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  (417): Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom. http://tfl.nu/szac
  Replies (4) Good night (822) Bad night (694)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?

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  (301): Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke? http://tfl.nu/hphp
  Replies (11) Good night (1165) Bad night (505)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Hows the party lookin?

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party

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  (608): Hows the party lookin? (414): At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party http://tfl.nu/v0wb
  Replies (3) Good night (1083) Bad night (359)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  He yearns for your heart.

  (678): View more from Georgia

  He needs to stop being a pussy about it.

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  (404): He yearns for your heart. (678): He needs to stop being a pussy about it. http://tfl.nu/dh98
  Replies (2) Good night (811) Bad night (316)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG

  (972): View more from Texas

  BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY

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  (954): I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG (972): BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY http://tfl.nu/u33r
  Replies (0) Good night (811) Bad night (309)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.

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  (417): I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low. http://tfl.nu/l7at
  Replies (4) Good night (253) Bad night (454)

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