Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
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