I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?