My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"