did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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