she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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