Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
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