I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
