Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
