that's an acceptable place to lick
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
