Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
