So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
