I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
