I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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