Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
