your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
accomplished twins. life is a go
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Randomize
