how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
