He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
