how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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