Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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