Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
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You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
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I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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