North Korea, Best Korea!
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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