roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
