Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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