hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
