he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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