my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
