I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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