I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
