What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
