You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
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sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
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Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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