I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
