At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
tonight lets celebrate not being married
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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