How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
How external is "for external use only"?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
