Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
