Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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