Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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