If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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