hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
