If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize