It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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