Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
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What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
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I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
His nipple licking is glorious
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