Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
