hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
