In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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