so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize
