What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
