porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize