Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
