im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
