Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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